09 June 2008

The Never-Ending Story

Cloudy and 52* with light rain this morning here in Seattle. Looks like the rain and chilly temperatures will be continuing throughout the week, so don't put away those umbrellas yet!

It's apparent to me that weather announcers here in the Puget Sound region are either 1) from here, and this seems normal, 2) are getting paid obscene amounts of money to chuckle and sound cheerful, or 3) are operating on heavy doses of Prozac.

Theoretically, they could also be sun-hating, fun-sucking vampires.

There's pretty much no other way to explain how a person can actually chuckle and engage in light banter about this situation. Like it's normal. Since moving here, what's become normal for me is to flip obscene hand gestures toward my radio and loudly curse it while driving through drizzle in my always-on heated car seat.

My personal reaction to this morning's weather report was to grab the plastic butter knife in my desk drawer and start sawing away at my wrists, but it wasn't very effective, and the weather gods apparently don't give a shit that I'm about to flip the fuck out because it's still raining.

They're probably up there chuckling too.

So I tighten my winter scarf (thanks Tony), turn on my sunlamp and check my email to take my mind off things. Oh look, some friends have written -- let's see what RG has to say, he's always good for some conspiratorial bitching. What's this? Oh ... it's a link to Boston weather ... looks like folks are getting sunburned and having sweatfests there. Thanks, RG. That's fucking great. Hope you had fun at your softball game. Sun, beer, and hot guys ... this isn't helping, goddamnit. Watch it buster, or Cheery Radio Bitch won't be the only one on my short list for a healthy bitch slap.

At least he took up a "sunshine collection" for me on his site. It's not working, but hey, it's the thought that counts, right?


  1. Though it really is no consolation, I will gladly trade you this hot, humid armpit of a city for some crisp and fresh Seattle air. Rain included.


    The one they have been known to call "hiking child of the pacific northwest".

  2. I know you been sticking pins in your voodoo doll of me. My back hurts, my computer at work died today, and, AND I'm not horny! Where did you stick those pins girl?

  3. Oh please RG, is there a place on you that hasn't been stuck with one thing or another? hehe! :)

    Come to Chicago! I'm doing some preliminary scouting for some venues here for a September gathering of Bloggers. You game?

  4. Al --- I'd take that trade. I never EVER thought I'd miss humidity. The fact that I do tells me I'm close to going into Rain Rage.

    RG --- I actually do have a little voodoo doll in my office. Damn, I didn't think the thing would actually work. Who knew? Seriously though, if you're not horny, you'd best get thee to a doctor. Soemthing's wrong, honey.

    Tater --- To your first question, I'm thinking no. To your second, omg, if it's not raining there, I think right now I'd be willing to walk to Chicago.

  5. Cowbell, baby! Don't do anything rash. I won't tell you about the weather here. As for RG not being horny, that was probably some freak 5 minute episode that I am sure has passed.

    (I posted another Doris story, maybe that will cheer you up. It even has skunks in it!)

  6. Don't worry Ms. Cowbell - the hornies have returned. It WAS just a five-minute thingy.

    Tater: Yeah, from you.

  7. come to texas..you'll have as much chance of getting rained on as a babtist missing church...


I've got a fever ...