22 November 2008

Generation Text

I've probably mentioned Teen Demon's documented addiction to text messaging. When I say addiction, I mean in the literal sense. Last month the girl had 10,000 messages to her credit. Even the US Texting Champion only runs about 8,000 per month. On the rare occasions her phone malfunctions or runs out of juice, she displays classic signs of withdrawal: anxiety, shaking hands, irritability, inability to focus, clammy skin, the whole bit.

It was the facial tics and repetitive hand motions that made me consider an intervention.

She sleeps with the thing under her pillow, for 24/7 access. I'm pretty sure she and her friends will become the next Borg Collective, phones melded to skulls, unable to make a move without the input of the Collective. I once asked her if nighttime texts couldn't wait until morning. After all, if it's an emergency, they'll actually CALL you, right? Anything else probably doesn't warrant waking up at 3:37am. Her eyes about popped out of her head. "Yeah, right!!" she scoffed, clutching her phone possessively. "I wouldn't be able to sleep!"

But seriously, is it really crucial to see, "OMG im so bored. r u sleeping?" before you wake up in the morning? It's like when she was four and thought she'd miss something after going to bed.

Teen Demon is always on the go. Even before she left for college, a goodly portion of our relationship was predicated on texting. Now that she's at college, she's stepped it up to the next level. Things that would be discussed vis a vis in most mother-daughter relationships are presented to me on a handheld LCD screen. That tinny alert from the depths of my purse could be anything.

Like these:

So im thinking of getting a tattoo.

So i don't actually need to pass math to graduate.

Nose piercings r so cute.

Going to a hookah bar.

I'm getting my belly button pierced.

L8r, im in court now.

Court sucks!

College has so many parties!

If you just went by her text history, you'd wonder just what kind of wild, delinquent hooligan I've raised, here. Anyway, I was thinking recently I should be compiling these nuggets of history. Like a baby book, only more stressful. Those are among the more traumatic memorable communications, but hundreds more are forever lost from the memory stores of my brain.

Here's today's entry from the compendium of treasured communications with a loving daughter:

I'm thinking about getting a motorcycle license. It's only $125.

Like I don't have enough to worry about with two of the little devils off to college. My reply? "Tuition is a better investment. Especially since you live in the rain capital of the universe."

Welcome to text hell. I'll keep u posted, LOL. L8r!


  1. Personally I don't get why it's not just as simple to pick said phone up and you know, actually call the person you wish to communicate with??

    Man, I went and got old, didn't I??

  2. You are so lucky. My kids wont text me... they only do that with their friends. Im left with conversations of how I dont get it. .....

  3. I barely know how to use a telephone,let alone text message.
    I can't help but notice that Teen Demon like pullin' your chian a little with the one-liners.
    The evil parent in me thinks it might be fun to send one off of your own like,..'The kid that delivers the pizza asked me out,and I accepted!'..

  4. lol and OMG! My girls think it's pretty hilarious that mom txts as well! I was always a fan of technology but lately... I have to admit I miss the good ole days. When people spoke to each other and had to make eye contact to meet and feel connections. I know... the irony in that I'm using this forum to state that I miss the face-to-face of the past.... but... this is the only way I can get my message across these days! Oh well... ttyl!

  5. My neighbor text me to tell me she is at my front door..I am more apt to read a text then hear my doorbell ring. I am with Sling I think you should text her some good one liners back.

  6. I have never text anything or anyone..and I have never used the word bling in a sentence..I rest my case.

  7. Doralong: And I didn't even write about the times TD and a friend have been passengers in my car, texting each other while sitting not 3 feet from each other. seriously?

    CityMouse: Yeah, I estimate I warrant probably .0005% of their total text output.

    Sling: You think? And not to worry -- Teen Demon comes by her smartassedness honestly. It's genetic.

    T: I actually like the convenience, I admit. What bugs me is when they don't get to the point -- I'm not trying to have an actual back and forth conversation via keyboard, Child, just get to the relevant information already.

    Sage: No worries there. She's a chip off the old smartass. Yes, I'm much more likely to look at a text than listen to voice mail. I hate vm.

    YDG: OMG, r u 4 realz? Y? IDK how u survive! jk, lol! L8r!

  8. The entire time we were in California my grand kids had their phones in hand texting away....while having conversations, eating, in the bathroom....every where. it is all I can do to find the right letter let alone figure out the jargon.

  9. Texting is the best way to communicate. Picking up the phone and calling someone takes way too long and you can only talk to one person at a time and usually people get mad when I text while I'm on the phone with them cause they think I can't hear them or something.
    AND if I'm in class I can't really just pick up the phone and call you right in the middle of it anyways

  10. You realize of course, I'm sitting here reading your post with a big-ass smile on my face, don't you?



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