15 December 2007

Pay No Mind to That Earlier Unpleasantness.

Why hello, darlings. Feeling much better now, thank you. It's a wonder what that extra three hours of sleep can do for a body! Of course, three hours of exercise and housecleaning would've done it more good, but then I'd still be bitchy. It's a trade off.

I wrote about wrestling here last season, the son's first season ever, how brave these kids are to grapple around in shiny, spandex suits in public while in the throes of puberty, the intricacies of wrestling a female opponent, and how much I respect these young people. It ain't for sissies, and I don't mean just physically either. There's something about the way team connects and looks out for each other, too.

Looking for the link, I realized I missed my first blogiversary, or whatever you call it, which was this insightful, erudite post:

So, this is my fancy blog. Testing, 1 2 3...

Not even kidding. Lame.

Anyway, this is the son's first year of high school wrestling. There are two other guys in his weight class. They challenge each other for the right to wrestle in the one varsity slot for each weight class. There's an older guy who's pretty good, and if the son does manage to get past him, guess who he ultimately has to challenge for that varsity slot?

That would be the team captain. He's a senior.

The son, no fool, said, "Well, I'll just challenge for the experience then," Smart kid. I would not want to be a freshman on varsity anyway. You'd get your ass kicked all the damn time.

Last week, Mr. Team Captain couldn't wrestle for some reason. I get this phone call:

Annoying Ring! Annoying Ring!

Me: Hello?

Male Offspring: Um, Anyu? I have some news that's going to sound good, but ... it's really not.

Me: [bracing myself] Okay, buddy, what's up?

MO: So, apparently, I'm wrestling varsity tonight. Michael can't wrestle.

Me: That's great! Good for you, buddy!

MO: Um, not really. All the older guys know my opponent. He's like, a beast or something!

Me: Well, okay, this is high school, you expect that, right? Besides, wasn't your nickname The Beast last year?

MO: That was middle school. This guy is seriously a beast. I think he has a beard. All the guys look sorry for me. They told me my goal is just to try not to get pinned. What the heck does that mean?

Me: Oh.

MO: This guy went to State last year! He's like a senior.

Me: Oh!

MO: .........

Me: Well ... okay then, honey! Try not to get pinned, then! See you tonight! Good luck!

Poor kid. Okay, in wrestling, your team scores higher if you win by pinning your opponent instead of just getting more points than your opponent. That's why the son's teammates were asking him not to get pinned -- they're basically telling him, he's going to beat you, but don't give up that pin. Even though you're wrestling a beast in spandex. With a beard.

The son was right. This guy WAS a beast. I mean, like a 152-pound Tasmanian devil. But the son held on for his six minutes. He was tired as hell by the end, staggering a bit, but the guy could not pin him. I told the son that he may have just experienced his most respectable loss ever. His team mates cheered pretty loud for him. Hell, yeah.

The son, getting ready to throw Beast Boy
(That's Teen Demon cheering on the left, the one w/ the hair ribbon)

And he throws him!
(This pretty much set Beast Boy off. He went into Tasmanian Devil mode after that.)

But today is a new day. The son sent me a text message that he won his first match of the day -- got a pin in 47 seconds! Hell. yeah. I'm sure he's feeling pretty beastly about that.


  1. Cathcing up....your son is awesome, the teen sweetheart adorable in a bow, you bend over nicely and say thank you....how better to get snaked....enjoy your coffee, see how that consumption relates to your sleeplessness....I am up all hours of the night too but I do things like clean my keyboard with sticky notes and wipe up cat barf.....just thought you'd want to know.

  2. When I was in high school many of my fellow students pinned me! They would challege me to fight and we (they) would have a grand time throwing me all over the place. Oh by the way I was not not the wrestling team! I was the boy that all the "beasts" flung through the air for a laugh like a very glam ragdoll! These days when I encounter a "beast" I know just what to do....RUN! but in a fabulous way

  3. Twice in one day you have made me laugh out load...I love that Testing 1..2..3. When I first happened upon your blog...quite a few months ago I was looking at past post and I found that..for some reason...it is hilarious, congrats on a year..and keeping it up...I go all out and then fizzle. I will try better though, only because you have inspired me.

  4. You go M.O!!! And T.D. (good job girl, support your brother!)

    I'm so thrilled the only winter sport I have to mess with is karate- granted it's like 12 months out of the year, but still at least it's only once a week..

  5. I hope you both had fun at the rest of the tournament.

  6. My brothers both wrestled in high school (and practiced on me). Thing was, we went to a quaker school - all nonviolence and brotherly love. But when those Quaker parents came to the matches they'd be yelling things like, "Kill him! Come on, kill him!!!"

    Being the younger sis, I never thought about how exposed they must feel in the spandex suit and the funky swim cap. And feeling all hormonally weird about your body. Then to be in that situation with a girl. Wow! Mind-fuck time.

  7. Happy Belated Blogiversary!

    Like Sageweb, you haved inspired me and probably a few more longtime lurkers too. It's amazing the lives you have touched without knowing you were doing so. I think that is damned awesome. You go girl. You rock.

  8. Cowbell: I'd say your son can handle his own. If you look at the second picture - HE'S PICKING UP THE BEAST AND THROWING HIM! Mmmmmmkay?

    So all those years of fighting off his sisters did come in handy after all!

  9. Well aren't you just the chipper one after a good night's sleep.

    Looks like Male Offspring knows how to handle himself on quite a few levels. Says something about his home life doesn't it.

    Bash the Beast for all us little guys whoe the Beasts use to pick on.

  10. rasslin' is so damn scary! how do those kids do it? how do they CHOOSE to do it. my stomach hurts just thinking about it.

  11. Hey!..Nice shots of MO slammin' the Beast!...and good strategy on the not getting pinned thing.On a few occasions,when Beasts have threatened to kick my ass,I've diffused the situation by telling them,"Yeah..You probably will.But you ain't gonna have no fun doin' it!"
    and Happy Blogoversary!..No more calling you the new kid..Athough I can't promise we won't put your hand in warm water at the next blog party 'cause,you know..it's so damm fun!

  12. Rosemary: Good to see you back, Rosemary! I've missed you. Hope you're feeling OK?

    Boy About Town: What you needed was a friend on the wrestling team! Well I'm sure that as adults those horrid little beasts are stuck in dead-end jobs, living at their moms' houses, and unable to get a date. I hope someone has given them all swirlies at least once by now.

    Sageweb: Crap, someone noticed that post before yesterday? Very humble beginnings, this place. I hope that particular post wasn't your inspiration.

    DL: Thanks! Yes, wrestling season is very time consuming. Practice every afternoon, one, or more often, two evening matches a week, and all-day tourneys about every other Saturday. Who's the karate master 'round your place?

    Whim: Thanks! I did have fun. (And I know what you're doing right now ... 3+ minutes left in the quarter ... your ball)

    Elizabeth: Ha! The son practices on his sisters as well. Especially the Bohemian. Her first year of college, she took Judo. She came back convinced she could do some damage. The son, 8th grade then, was just real calm. Put her on the floor, tied her up like a pretzel, and left it at that. Luckily the Bohemian thought it was funny.

    Yes, there's a lot that goes into it for these guys. They learn a lot more than just the sport.

    Speck: Thanks! Wow you just made my morning.

    RG: Exactly. He got a couple of good licks in. His coach told me after that he could tell the guy was just toying with the son, thinking he could pin him at his leisure. Not. I was pretty proud of him.

    Willym: Yes, I like when they keep that stuff to the mat, not out in the halls of school. The coaches and guys htemselves hold themselves to a standard of behavior -- in fact, I have a story to post about that.

    Monica: Yeah, it's pretty brutal. I couldn't do it.

    Sling: Thanks! It's actually harder to get pics this year -- high school gyms are bigger, and my camera believes it needs the flash - which doesn't reach out to the mat. So I have to make all kinds of adjustments to "trick" it. But the indoor lighting makes it a lot harder than getting football/track pics.

    Every day beasts are horrid in in high school. Kids can be such cruel idiotic little bastards. I'm sure you gave 'em what for.

  13. Sling: PS -- I knew that was you with the water bowl. You tried to hide under the Twister mat. Commendable strategy...

  14. Happy Belated Blog-o-versary!!! Male Offspring rocks it! Oh and also, isn't my RoMama hilarious?

  15. Wrestling is one of those sports that looks really cool, and at first glance seems like a piece of cake. The first day of grade nine phys ed proved otherwise. Always the first to put his hand up for a new skill, my sadistic nazi gym teacher Mr. Bowen picked me and demonstrated pins and holds. I think I knew it wasn't my game when my entire body was immobile and Mr. Bowens ass hairs were tickling my nose. Thanks, I'll stick to rugby!

    Who knows, had it been anyone else, I may have gone on to glory!

  16. Hat: Why thank you dahlink! If I had actually remembered it and got one of those blogiversary posts out on time, well, that would've been so unlike me. (And yes, he does, and yes, she most decidedly is.)

    Al: hahaha! ;-) At the tourney this weekend, I watched one of the son's teammates get beat when the opponent got a quick pin in a particular position that looked quite painful. As I groaned in sympathy, the son says, "Yeah. That's the 'Saturday Night Ride'. It hurts." I think I'd have stuck to rugby too.

  17. Congrats on you anniversary! I have so enjoyed reading you. Hope there are many more to come! Wrestling was fun until I realized my coach was a little too fond of teenage boys, me in particular. I quit shortly thereafter.

  18. that was me, btw.

  19. Woo hoo! And yes, wrestling isn't for high school sissies, altho' most of them pick up the sport in a less formal way in their twenties.

    (Sorry, just had to.)

  20. Incognito Tater: Back atcha, sweets - I'm so glad I found your site. And that's a shame about your coach - that could start me off on a wholenuther rant. But not today.

    KA: Thanks!

    Red: Ha! Well of course you did.

  21. Happy Bloggaversary! I think you should be giving RG a hard look if you're thinking of the freezer prank.

    Glad to hear the Male Offspring is kicking ass. The wrestling team in our high school were the only jocks that weren't complete assholes, so it is one of the few sports that I don't mind too much.

    Keep on writing 'em honey.

  22. Wresteling is big here. Hubbie and i use to help with the girls-- b4 there was the co-ed we have.

    Way to go!!!!

  23. FerociousKitty18 December, 2007

    Soooo, glad I found your blog! Congrats to your son, too! I have little kids (girls), and reading past posts of yours (and looking forward to future ones), I'm taking notes on this whole raising teenagers thang...

    Glad to cyber-meet you,
    ~Deesha (from AntiRacistParent)

  24. Lorraine: Back atcha.

    Evil-G: Thanks, Sugar! You know, both Teen Demon and the son have said that about the wrestlers. Actually I have a post about what happened when a couple of them did act like jerks, recently.

    Mouse: Very cool! Those girl wrestlers kick ass.

    Deesha: Hey, it's you! Welcome to the madness. I have 2 girls in addition to the son. Just try not to think about the teenager days until you have to, ha! Thanks for stopping by - loved your intro post.

  25. Congrats on your blogiversary and your son's wrestling achievements.

    Pie + coffee = good!

  26. Craig: How appropriate... I am having Pie + Coffee at this very moment! It's piegasmic!

  27. Adam: Bite me you cyber whore.


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